I'VE BEEN GOOD . . .

. . . the past couple of days.

I'm actually proud of myself. Because I've been working in a cold warehouse for the past few days, it would be easy for me to stuff myself with comfort food to warm myself up and make myself feel better (I hate this part of my job!) But I've been good.

Think the fact I've been running about a lot has helped, and also it's been so cold in the warehouse I've not really got time to think about being hungry. I've been trying to stick to my three apple a day thing and haven't really had time to eat in the morning before grabbing a taxi to work (the bad thing is that because I'm not within walking distance of the warehouse, i can't walk like I usually would to my office which cuts out some exercise). So I've been having an apple in the morning, another apple with my lunch, and one mid-afternoon. For my ACTUAL lunch, I've been having a tortilla wrap with light Philadelphia and a mixture of red peppers, mushroom and onion - so it tastes yummy AND I feel like it's relatively healthy.

For dinner yesterday I had a cheese and onion grill thing (approx 180 cals) and a bowl of soup with one slice of brown bread and butter, and I had a Curly Wurly as a treat. For dinner tonight I had a Weightwatchers lasagne, and then later on I had some Reece's cups. I know, I know, chocolate isn't good. But I find that I can't deny myself it. If I allow myself a treat of chocolate, I'm far happier and less likely to go off the rails. And as long as I allow space for it, I don't see why i shouldn't let myself have something nice . . .

So tomorrow is my last day in the warehouse so I'm hoping I can stick to a similar plan then. It may all go to ruin once I'm back in the nice hot office sitting on my ass but I'm definitely going to try and stick to the three apples a day and trying not to overdo it when I get home at night. I have a Christmas night out a week on Saturday so would like to feel a little less bulky for that.

I'm also looking for other adjustments i can make to my diet that might help, the little things make all the difference, right? If I find anything, I'll let you know . . .

OKAY I'M A LOSER...

. . . I feel like i've ate and ate and ate since my dinner. I had a chocolate eclair (weightwatchers so not too bad) and had a packet of ryvita minis dipped in light philadelphia. Okay, I know I could have had much worse, I could have eaten crisps and high fat dip I suppose. I'm sitting in watching the "X-Factor" so unfortunately my automatic reflex is to eat. I guess I'm not going to get over that straight away.

Think I'll stick my ab belt thingy on and drink some green tea now. Hopefully it might make me feel a bit better . . .

AN APPLE A DAY . . . OR THREE . . .

I recently read a diet tip that suggested if you eat three apples a day, you can lose up to 2lbs in a month.

Without making any other changes to your diet!!!

Now this could be all rubbish but it makes sense in a way to me. After all, if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then surely three is even better??? Let's look at this way . . . an average apple has about 60 calories in it, right? And there's quite a lot of eating in one of them. In other words, they keep your mouth occupied for a while without causing you to waste too much calories. And they actually fill you up pretty well.

I know this from experience as last year one of my colleagues told me she had devised her own diet using apples that helped her lose a little bit of weight prior to Christmas (you know, so it didn't matter if she put any weight on over the holidays!). Basically the diet involved eating nothing but apples during the day then a normal meal at night. Of course, I ruined it by stuffing my face with chocolate at night but I certainly didn't put any weight ON!!! Anyway, my point? That trying that diet for a couple of days proved that apples were pretty damn filling. I think I had four or five during the day and didn't get hungry. I DID get bored though but that's not the point...

So I figure there could definitely be some truth in the whole apple as a weight loss food thing. So I'm now trying to combine eating three apples a day with a lower calorie diet in the hope that both can work together to accelerate the weight loss.

So this has been today's meal plan so far . . .

Breakfast:
One egg and some salad (lettuce, some plum tomatoes and yellow pepper with some olive oil and lemon juice as dressing)
Snack:
1 apple
Lunch:
WW Chili con Carne (which was yummy, I might add)
Snack:
1 apple

I've just ate another apple now and have popped a Weightwatchers lasagne in the oven along with a sweet potato. I figure the baked sweet potato will help fill me up (let's face it, the WW meals on their own aren't always that filling). Anyway, I'm quite proud of myself today.

I am also aiming to not drink alcohol again until next Friday since that's obviously a big downfall of mine.

I'm going to try my best to stick to it this time, but I feel a lot more motivated than usual so hopefully it won't be as difficult as I expect it to be...

BEING PREPARED . . .

Me and my flatmate went on a big supermarket shop on Monday night to stock up on lots of healthy food, low fat ready meals, things to snack on that are low calorie and the like.

I definitely think being prepared is a good idea when you are trying to be on a diet or be healthy. Otherwise you end up using lack of food as an excuse to opt for the junk-food option. (Although to be honest, I could do that whether I had a healthily-stocked kitchen or not . . . ) Hopefully the fact that we have bought ourselves tons of stuff to keep us going means that we will end up sticking to the diet. We'll see!!!

I'M FLAGGING AGAIN . . .

My flatmate I started going running with was sick last week and I didn't have the motivation to do it myself. (She, on the other hand, lost four pounds from not being able to eat, and vomiting - not on purpose, I might add . . . )

On top of that I just had too much to do, and alcohol accessibility was waaayyyy too easy. I definitely think cutting down on alcohol for a while is key to my progress here.

Here we go again I guess . . .

OOPS . . .

Yesterday went rapidly downhill after my post. I ended up eating two different meals for dinner, plus I polished off a bottle of wine. Ooops, like I said.

Anyway, today is a new day. So far I've had my usual probiotic yogurt drink and some low fat natural organic yogurt too. Just making my lunch now. I'm having a corn on the cob and also some fish. I bought these great fish portions in Iceland, they're frozen and come in their own little boil in the bag pack with parsley sauce. It's absolutely delicious, so easy to make as you just need to pop it in the microwave and only 123 calories. Plus the sauce is lovely and flavours everything else you want to have with it - I tend to go with green veg like sprouts, brocolli and salad leaves, but today since I'm having the corn on the cob I'm just going to add some mushrooms to the fish sauce and think that will definitely be enough. That should hopefully keep me going until dinner, and I'm going to try and do a bit of an exercise dvd too if possible, just to get my metabolism up and running properly.

It's so hard to motivate yourself when it's the weekend though!

A QUICK UPDATE . . .

I slipped a bit yesterday, what with fireworks night, alcohol, chocolate and pizza but on the whole I haven't been awful with my diet this week. I've went prepared into work every day and apart from eating a couple of Cadbury's Roses yesterday that the department head brought in, I haven't veered off and bought crisps or sweets from the vending machine.

I also managed three runs in total this week. Not massive ones but I'm only starting out. I walked to and from work a lot more than I have been recently too.

And I weighed myself last night and it appears I've lost two pounds from the last time I weighed in.

It's a small start but hey every little counts, right?

GOING A BIT OFF THE RAILS . . .

Not quite so good today, I'm afraid.

I started off well, the same start as yesterday. Two apples, a probiotic yogurt drink. A tub of grapes. At lunch I didn't want to fall into the pumpkin seed trap again so I brought an extra tub - of cherry tomatoes this time - to go with my chicken mayo wrap (as you can see, I varied it very slightly today - and low fat mayo!) and alpen bar.

It was tonight I slipped up. A nice guy in my work had brought me in some home made pizza and I managed to save it til tonight - but ate four slices of it. It was beautiful, mind you, and apparently made using low fat cheese, so I suppose it probably wasn't as bad as a takeaway pizza. And I walked to AND from work today meaning a roundtrip of 5 miles AND a 20 minute jog this evening. Not as long as yesterday but I felt like I shouldn't overdo it if I want to exercise tomorrow too.

So although I DID eat a bit more than I intended, I at least DID exercise I suppose. Oh well, tomorrow's a new day and all that jazz . . .

TODAY I COULD HAVE BEEN SPONSORED BY WEIGHTWATCHERS . . .

Here's what I have ate today. Is it good? Is it bad? I'm not sure . . . Advice anyone???

Breakfast: A probiotic Muller Vitality yogurt drink (approx 60 calories) and two apples
Mid-morning snack - a small tub of grapes (approx 20 grapes)
Lunch - a tortilla wrap with chicken and some low fat coleslaw, a light Alpen chocolate orange bar (approx 80 calories) and a handful of spiced pumpkin seeds
Dinner - a Weightwatchers lasagne, a handful of cherry tomatoes and one light Laughing Cow triangle
Evening snack - one Weightwatchers lemon slice (approx 70 calories) and one Weightwatchers toffee bar (approx 80 calories)

Okay, I slipped up a little this evening by having the TWO evening snacks rather than one (or, even better, NONE!) but at least they were Weightwatchers ones, right? I usually can get through far more calories in an evening so I've actually been fairly restrained - and the lasagne was less than 300 calories as well. And DELICIOUS!!! In addition, I got a good way towards my quota of fruit and veg portions for the day.

The only thing I can't do a good calorie estimation for is the wrap I made for lunch. That's the one advantage to ready-made meals (other than convenience), the fact the nutritional content is written all over the packaging. I'm guessing possibly around 400 which I suppose is okay for lunchtime. If it hadn't been for the pumpkin seeds, I would definitely say I was under 1300 calories. They upset the calculations slightly though, but I suppose they were still good for me.

Oh yes, and despite getting a taxi to work this morning (kudos to me for still managing to make my lunch despite sleeping in I guess!) we walked home (about two and a half miles) after work AND went for a 30 minute jog. So really when I think about it I actually DID eat less and exercise more than usual!

I'm putting a ban on all social activities this week. I need to get a good kick start on the diet this time. Going out is bad because I find it difficult to restrain myself when it comes to alcohol and nice food. So staying in will be the new going out this week, just until I can get myself into a routine. And on top of that, we're hoping to jog another two nights this week.

I'm feeling fairly positive about the diet at the moment but it IS only day one. Again. Hopefully I can stick to it this time . . .

A NEW DISCOVERY . . .

I never realised this before but you can get tae-bo on youtube!!!

How ace is that??? Since I have my laptop on generally at night anyway, all I need to do is throw on something comfortable and take part in the Tae Bo Abs Bootcamp. It might make me working out far easier.

I spent nearly 20 minutes doing it earlier this evening and feel a bit better for it. It made me feel a bit less guilty about eating a rather large slice of creamy sponge cake for dessert tonight.

And tomorrow, hopefully, a run!!! I can't remember how long it's been since I went a run. I'm rather looking forward to it, actually. Sad, eh???

SOME DIETING TIPS . . .

Today (well YESTERDAY, now) WAS going well until about half nine, when my flatmate's boyf turned up with a bottle of rose wine and after drinking a glass of that, I ended up on the vodka. But whatever. Tomorrow (or TODAY) is a new day and all that, so figured before I went to bed I would try and discover some decent weight loss tips. I figured if I committed them to print on my OWN blog, I would not only help anyone who reads it (or the ONE person who does – Alice, I'll namecheck you now), but help myself too because I'll have it all in one place. So here goes . . .

DON'T EAT AFTER SEVEN PM
Why? - so you can give your metabolism time to work off any calories you've consumed.
Why this might be difficult for me? - because I find it faaaaarrrr harder to resist after seven pm. I could virtually starve myself all day if I wanted to (I don't, but that's not the point) but it's evening when I start to crave chocolate and crisps.

MAKE SURE YOU EAT BREAKFAST
Why? - it kickstarts your metabolism, and apparently keeps you full for longer.
Why this might be difficult for me? - because I have a lot of trouble finding time to eat breakfast before I leave the flat in the morning due to the fact I walk to work and generally try to start at eight am. In addition, when I DO find time to eat before I leave, I actually end up hungrier sooner. Go figure . . .

DRINK LOTS OF WATER
Why? - flushes out your system, curbs your appetite, helps your skin, blah blah blah
Why this might be difficult for me? - drinking at least 2 litres of water a day is quite time consuming. Especially when you're working. Plus, I generally need some caffeine-full fizzy drink to keep me awake. Oh, and not to mention the time you have to waste running to the loo . . .

EATING THE RIGHT SORT OF FOOD
Why? - well, duh. This one is pretty obvious right? Certain foods APPARENTLY have less calories than your body burns to eat them. I'm a little dubious about this, but there ARE things like cherry tomatoes, raspberries and watermelon that have absurdly few calories in them, and sometimes it's hard to believe that eating a whole box of them still has less calories and fat than a chocolate bar you could inhale in approximately five seconds.
Why this might be difficult for me? - no matter how hard I try, inhaling a chocolate bar in five seconds is more appealing than eating fruit pretty much anyday.

For anyone who thinks I'm being negative here, I'm actually not. I'm just pre-empting my own thoughts. I KNOW that these tips make sense, it's just that I can find a personal argument against most of them, and this is going to be my personal hurdle to overcome if I want to lose weight.

Anyway, anytime I come across a useful tip, I will post it.

In fact, I may have a better idea. Leave it with me . . .

LET'S TRY AGAIN . . .

Okay, I'm starting again today.

This time I THINK I'm determined. I had a bit of a fright the other day when I realised I'd put on even more weight, I guess it was a bit of a wake up call.

So I think what I need to do is plan what I'm eating in advance, plan my exercise in advance and then just try and stick to it. I'll keep you updated . . . once I HAVE a plan, that is!

I KNOW, I KNOW . . .

. . . I've not been updating but the fact is, I've had nothing to update. I've been very naughty. And now my holiday, my motivation for losing weight, has passed. But hey I still need to lose the weight. And I will.

Once I get into the swing of things again, I'll update more regularly. Promise!

FAILING MISERABLY . . .

I haven't posted in a bit as it's been a massive fail in the losing weight department for me in the last week or so. Things like real life and going out have been ruining my plans - and unfortunately I can't say "no" when someone offers me wine, dinner or chocolate!

Anyway, todays a new day, right? I have to think of it like this - in three weeks time I will be in the Canaries and wanting to feel confident in a bikini. Not necessarily lighter - just more toned. Ideally I want to see a good result in two weeks time, as it'll be my twenty ninth birthday. So I NEED to take this seriously for the next couple of weeks and try my hardest to just eat healthy and throw my ass into working out, so I can actually see some sort of results.

I tend to thrive under pressure, so maybe this deadline will help me be a little harder on myself...

DAY TWO . . .

Okay today I wasn't too bad calorie wise, I've not added anything up exactly (which is probably a mistake) but I didn't stuff my face, was relatively careful what I ate by my standards, AND I did exercise. The only downfall of the day really was the fact I didn't walk to work - due to lateness and heavy rain me and my flatmate ended up taking a cab. But all in all, I feel like I accomplished something. My stomach muscles are hurting from my workouts and a couple of intensive sit up sessions over the past couple of days so hopefully that means it's working . . .

DAY ONE , , ,

So not off to the best of starts.

As it was a lazy day for me today and I couldn't even be bothered getting out of bed until midday-ish, I decided to have two main meals rather than three. The plan was two low fat ready meals - one under three hundred cals, the other under four hundred. Simple enough, right? (I know ready meals aren't the best option but they're the easiest way for me to moderate my calorie intake right now). I had a Muller Vitality probiotic drink as my "breakfast" substitute about an hour prior to the first ready meal.

All would have probably been okay if I hadn't then consumed a 400 cal plus bar of galaxy chocolate. Damn, I'm weak.

On the upside, I DID do a significant amount of exercise for me, so I'm not gonna sweat it too much (well, literally, I sweated quite a bit during my workout, but you get my drift). I realise I'm not going to lose all the weight I want to lose overnight and that if I beat myself up about bingeing it will just make me feel worse and eat more, so I'm just gonna try my best to take one day at a time. That's all I can do really . . .

BEGINNINGS . . .

So the main reason I'm trying this is because I feel like if I commit my goals to the internet, then perhaps I might actually have the motivation to lose something.

Some background info: I'm 28 (29 in less than a month - eek!) and I usually blog over here. About seven years ago I weighed just under ten and a half stone (approximately 145 pounds) and I managed by some miracle to get down to just under eight (about 110 pounds). The first 20 pounds or so was diet and sheer force of will, the next five or so was more down to working in a shop where I never stopped moving about, and the last few pounds was down to me getting a little depressed and not being able to eat.

I probably stayed at the eight stone mark for a few months and then gradually the weight has crept on me again . . . first to eight and a half stone when I first moved out of my parents, then to nine as the years went by and my willpower dwindled. It's hovered at nine for a few years now, making the occasional plunge downwards by several pounds on the few occasions when I've lost my appetite - which is virtually only ever down to me being dumped, weirdly enough! Over the last couple of months its started to creep up further now and I'm getting closer and closer to the nine and a half stone mark.

I realise this isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things. When I say I'm going to go on a diet people tend to look at me like I'm mental. But let's face it, dieting is a personal thing. A person who is heavier than me may have nine and a half stone as the goal they are slimming down to . . . but for my body, this is heavy. I'm barely five foot three and small boned. I should be at the lower end of the weight scale for my height, not getting rapidly closer to the higher end. The fact of the matter is that I am not comfortable in my own body. I don't want my favourite clothes to be too tight on me. I want to be able to walk down a beach in Fuerteventura next month feeling confident in my bikini. And the way things are going at the moment with the weight creeping back on, I need to do something about it before I end up back where I started.

So my goal is to get back down to the weight I think is ideal for me. This is the weight I was before I got depressed and lost my appetite first time around . . . eight stone three pounds. I am realistic enough to realise I'm not going to manage that for my holiday - five weeks to lose over a stone is probably not do-able unless I crash diet . . . and I don't really want to do that, I have no desire to put the weight back on and then some.

I'm not going to cut carbs, or do some faddy thing that I can't stick to. I'm just going to limit my calories and fat intake, try not to drink as much booze, and exercise. This is what worked for me first time around and I'm hoping it can work for me again. Only time will tell, I guess . . .